With my birthday falling so close to Valentine’s Day, I’ve never put too much effort into celebrating the holiday.
To me, it’s overly commercialized, and while I do enjoy exchanging clever cards, chocolates, and small, thoughtful gifts with my loved ones, February 14th is really just an excuse to wear red or pink, sport some fun heart-covered socks, and eat chocolate.
This year, though, I thought I’d recognize Valentine’s Day with a different focus: self-compassion.
It’s important to show our families and significant others our love and respect for them on special days like Valentine’s Day, but how often do we set aside time to be kind and compassionate with ourselves?
I don’t mean bubble baths, favorite meals, or trips to the spa. I’m talking true self-compassion, respect, forgiveness, and validation.
Here are some ways to practice self-compassion and kindness.
1. Allow yourself a few extra minutes in the morning (or evening) to journal
This could be a way to practice gratitude, or it could be a therapeutic endeavor of recognizing some deep feelings that you’ve been repressing or minimizing. Either way, taking a moment to write out your thoughts is validating. We all need a moment to recognize that we are human beings with feelings and needs.
2. Forgive yourself of recent mistakes and shortcomings
Were you too hard on your kids when they didn’t do what you asked them to do? Were you snippy with your spouse for something that you could’ve just let slide? It’s ok. Yes, you made a poor judgment, but instead of holding on to those feelings or regret, just let them go and resolve to do better next time.
3. Rest
Whether it’s a short nap, a day off from exercise, or a full-blown mental health day from work, give your mind and body time to slow down. Remember the old adage, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.”
4. Set a goal
Set your eyes on something you’d like to achieve—it doesn’t have to monumental or especially challenging—and take some actionable steps to reaching your goal. It can be as simple as “read one book each month” or “sell a piece of my artwork before the summer.” The whole point is that every single one of us desires self-improvement and overcoming obstacles. It’s self-compassionate to recognize our own ambition and curiosity, even in small ways.
5. Make an effort to reduce self-deprecating talk
This isn’t one you’ll be able to accomplish in a single day, but why not make the commitment? Every time you catch yourself saying, “I’m such an idiot for forgetting to pick up chicken,” try “What a busy week. I’ll try to be less forgetful tomorrow, but tonight we’re ordering in pizza.” If you’re hyper-critical about your looks, treat yourself to a flattering item of clothing or make a list of all the amazing adventures your body has carried you through.
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Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be romantic. Whether you’re in a relationship or living the single life, we all could use a reminder to treat ourselves with kindness. And when we’re kinder to ourselves, we’ll also treat others with the compassion and kindness they deserve.
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